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DEAR ROARY:  I’m having problems with my boyfriend. He wants a more serious relationship and wants me to meet his parents, but I just don’t feel ready for that. However, I don’t want to hurt him by saying that. What should I do? 


If you feel uncomfortable meeting your boyfriends’ parents, you don’t have to. How you feel is completely understandable; things like this makes many people nervous. You should have a conversation with him, so he can understand how you feel. If he wants something that you are not ready for be sure to let him know that. If he still doesn’t understand what you are trying to say you can make the choice whether you want to stay in the relationship.  

Hope this helps,  



DEAR ROARY: I live in what I feel is a toxic household. I may be overreacting, but I feel my step father is semi-abusive. Don’t get me wrong. He doesn’t do anything illegal. He is cold and distant. He acts like he doesn’t care about me. Sometimes if I say “Hello” he doesn’t say anything back to me. He ignores me. He used to go to my school events, but lately he doesn’t go anymore. Most days, I dread seeing him at home. On the weekends, I try to stay the night at my friend’s house to avoid him. I don’t understand. It’s like everything I do, I get criticized. He’s always nit-picking me. It’s like I can’t do anything right. However, I am respectful to him. I don’t talk back or cuss or have a tone with him. I do chores every week. I am responsible. But I am not perfect. One time before school I was in a rush afraid, I’d miss the bus, I forgot to wipe the counter—there were a few crumbs left behind. When I came home that day, he left me a note “wipe counters!” And later he was kind of a jerk to me. Over crumbs? It seems ridiculous to me and unfair. I am frustrated. Honestly, I feel like he doesn’t care about me or what I think, and he never listens to me. What should I do?  


In your question you blame yourself a lot; however none of it is your fault if you are respectful towards him and do everything you’re told. If you feel that home is toxic, you should talk to someone you trust and feel comfortable around. You didn’t mention any other family members. If it is only your stepfather, you may consider telling him how you feel and explain that you feel he doesn’t care about you. Your letter said that he used to go to your school event but has stopped. Perhaps there is something else off about him; he could be going through a rough time and just be taking it out on you, but either way you should not feel unsafe to the point that you don’t even want to be at your own house. If nothing else works you should go to the counselor, I know you probably don’t want to hear this but I they will know how to handle this better than anyone else. Focus on yourself and things that make you happy.  

Hope this helps,  




DEAR ROARY: How do I get a boyfriend? 


The key to getting a boyfriend is being yourself, there is someone for everybody. If you are yourself, eventually you will find someone that is perfect for you. If you like someone and you are trying to find a way into their life you may need to ‘shake things up a bit’ and let him know that you are interested.  You should be assertive, show that you are trying to communicate. ‘Shoot your shot’, don’t wait on him to contact you, take initiative and you will be shocked by the results.   

Hope this helps,   




DEAR ROARY: Should I dog sit? 


You should definitely dog sit if you want to. Dog sitting would is a great and easy way to make money. Especially during the holidays because most families travel so now would be a perfect time to start. If dog sitting becomes your part time job, you get decide when you want to work. This way you will still have time to hang out with your friends and do other things. This can be a good way to became mature and responsible you will have to do everything for the dog such as walking, feeding, and cleaning up after it. Dog sitting can be a rewarding way to make money.

Hope this helps,    










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